Female Marriage Counselor Sucks At Relationships

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/kirsten-keach/im-female-player-whos-emotionally-unavailable-woman

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At the end of each date, I’d be irritated with them for being some way they always were. I’d write them off until the next time they called. Then, it would start all over again.

I’d blame them for this scenario. I’d mentally accuse them of being lame, unavailable guys who just wanted to use women, had a lot of issues, and weren’t ready for the real thing.

As I laid there in my bed dissecting my weekend male encounters, it dawned on me.

It was not them. It was me.

I was a “Female Player.”

I was doing all of the things that I hate unavailable men for doing. I was ghosting, breadcrumbing, reappearing, and spending time with people I had no long-term interest in.

The truth was that I was terrified of commitment and lying to myself to cover it up.

I was acting like an emotionally unavailable man. I was getting just enough love, intimacy, and affection to keep me going without risking any real vulnerability.

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Kirsten Keach MA LMFT is a marriage and family therapist. Visit her website for more information on her services.

N.B.

I understood that my inner player existed as a defense. So, I forgave myself for my imperfection and for all of the ways that I’d been unavailable.

It’s funny how women seem to think that they have to work so hard at forgiving themselves for any mistakes, while men seem to think it’s women’s inability to hold themselves accountable for ANYTHING that is the real issue.

For example:

The 90 Miles Mystery Box: Episode #1398 — 90 Miles From Tyranny

You have come across a mystery box. But what is inside? It could be literally anything from the serene to the horrific, from the beautiful to the repugnant, from the mysterious to the familiar.If you decide to open it, you could be disappointed, you could be inspired, you could be appalled. This is not for the faint of heart or…

The 90 Miles Mystery Box: Episode #1398 — 90 Miles From Tyranny

Hi there, Blue Eyes!