Why Will Nobody Marry My Brilliant, Beautiful, Trad Daughter With A Great Job?!?!

Comment from a post here.

Wilma Flintstone • 4 hours agoI hope that I’m not too late entering this discussion, but I have to have my say on this issue.I have a beautiful and brilliant (summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa in economics) 29 year old daughter with an excellent job. She is a Trump supporter involved with Republican politics and does not hide that she is conservative on dating apps. She is also a practicing Catholic and attends mass once a week. She certainly is the type of girl that all of you complaining that there are no nice traditional girls for their sons would love to have as a daughter-in-law and the mother of her grandchildren. Yet she has never had a serious boyfriend and cannot find a decent guy to even go on a date with!Why is that? Because guys today don’t really want a girl like my daughter. They just want someone who will put out right away, and then, after five or six years of that, including shacking up, they finally propose. Every single girl in our family, including all her cousins, as well as all her friends, are doing this, and not one of them has gotten married without living together for years first. And they aren’t ashamed of it, and the girls’ families all publicly support it! My daughter doesn’t want to do this, but how can she compete with every other woman her age giving sex away, despite all the qualities she has to offer?My point is that if guys really cared about meeting a woman who was beautiful, brilliant, and traditional who would be a good wife and mother to their children, women like my daughter would not be going into their thirties with no prospect of marriage and with diminishing hope of it with each passing year. Men can’t complain about their wives after marriage if they aren’t looking for a girlfriend who brings the qualities needed for a successful marriage in the first place.

29!!! HA, HA, HA!!!

I see she left out “virgin”.

If a brilliant, beautiful girl wants a husband and children, you damn well know she could have had them starting at 18 years old.

“How To Be A Gentleman” by Some Dumb Bitch

The Age of the Gentleman — that semi-imaginary time we all have in our heads where men you actually wanted to sleep with wore fedoras and treated ladies like ladies — might be over, but there’s no reason it can’t come back next year. We just need to set up a few ground rules for being a modern Cary Grant/Paul Newman/Ken Cosgrove. We’ll all be drinking scotch and wearing linen suits again in no time.

So the women will be drinking scotch and wearing linen suits as well?

12. Know how to cook at least a few good meals, because a) there is nothing worse than guys who assume it’s up to the woman to do all the cooking, b) there is nothing sexier than a dude who can cook, and c) everyone deserves to feed themselves well.

No one even thinks a random woman can cook at all anymore, let alone expects them to do all the cooking.

15. Erase the word “slut” from your vocabulary.

It’s rude to be redundant.

19. Be up-front about your finances, because it’s unfair for anyone to believe in the outdated gender roles of “the man should pay for everything.” As long as you’re working hard and trying your best, you deserve to be honest.

Don’t make her have to run a credit check on you to see if you’ll be able to pay off her student loans.

20. Do not sleep with anyone who wants a relationship from you that you are not prepared to give. Using their affection to get something from them physically is easy, but it makes you a bad person.

24. Be compassionate, and know that you are allowed to experience the full range of human emotion. Where the gentleman of our grandparents’ generation might have prided himself on keeping all of his feelings in check for fear of seeming ‘feminine,’ a real gentleman knows that the best thing about him is his ability to be kind and empathetic. Everything else — yes, even the suit — is just icing on the cake. 

Be emotionally vulnerable, but do it exactly the way she fucking tells you to.

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

OMG, she’s on Twitter! That’s quite the honor isn’t it?

Make sure you hear Lisa Simpson’s voice when you’re reading her drivel.